Winner: Mario Balotelli
This week did not have many stand out appalling goals, but Balotelli's was certainly the most ridiculous, and the more ridiculous, the more deserving of an Âne D'or. As if missing a tap in from four yards out wasn't bad enough, the way the ball bounced off John Ruddy was in itself bizarre, but the finish is what fans will surely remember most , with Super Mario electing to 'shoulder' the ball into the net. Moment of brilliance? Would Maradonna, Pele or Messi do that?
The Âne D'or for worst celebration
Winner: Mario Balotelli
It looks like Balotelli is blasting away the competition in the inagural Âne D'or awards as if they were explosives in his toilet, picking up his second award for his lackluster reaction to scoring one of the most bizarre goals of the season so far. No need for an addition video (just watch the one above), but perhaps Balotelli should look to these folks for some inspiration next time he scores
The Âne D'or for worst match
Winner: Everton 0 - 1 Stoke
Man Utd's cure for insomnia against Aston Villa pushed it all the way, but Stoke's 'cure for insomnia' win against Everton will live slightly shorter in the memory, as it didn't even effect the title race. The two teams combined for a whopping eight shots on target, and almost double that in fouls. To add insult to injury, they actually decided to televise this game! Not much more to add, but here are some lowlights (yes, I know there's no match footage, but by not showing it I've saved you ten minutes you'll never get back. You're welcome)
The Âne D'or for dumbest moment
Winner: Luis Suarez
Let's see... you are the 'star' striker for one of the world's biggest clubs, yet have managed four goals in 14 league matches this season (only two more than Fernando Torres, having played more matches), your team has lost to Fulham, you have already been charged with racism (as if Africans needed any more reason to hate you), and are the current poster-boy for Premier League divers, so what is the best course of action? Oh, I know! I'll give the finger to Fulham fans! I could go on to insult his intelligence over and over (surely there's some joke about squad number reflecting I.Q.?) but I think a video is more fitting
The Âne D'or for worst player
Winner: John Ruddy
Not the fairest evaluation of Ruddy's performance, which actually included a few good saves, but when your side is down 1-0 after 51 minutes and still has a chance of getting back into the game, punching a free kick into your own net probably isn't the best idea. To concede another three after that didn't cover him in glory, either.
Video of the week
One of my personal favorites, a compilation of Arsenal's finest goalkeepers down the years. Just kidding, but I'm sure Arsene Wenger is interested in a few of these guys!
The next Âne D'or will come next week! Thanks for reading, enjoy the videos and feel free to comment. And remember, as long as the Ballon D'Or keeps giving awards to the best, we'll keep giving them to the worst!
